My Husband Is Not Gay

[Gypsy-Vanner]

http://www.eonline.com/news/611546/tlc- ... ontroversy

TLC went from showing interesting and educational reality based stories to airing stupid stuff.

[Dr_Liszt]

I like that picture of you. You look like a hot teacher or something.

[Gypsy-Vanner]

Thanks. That's me at work testing out the camera on my new laptop a few weeks ago.

[LSK]

That show is probably unforgivably stupid in the same ways that most reality TV shows are unforgivably stupid, but I don't quite understand what's controversial about it. So long as the show isn't promoting so-called "reparative" therapy—which is ineffective and sometimes harmful—what exactly is outrageous about couples where one partner ignores one set of desires (e.g., same-sex attraction) in favor of a competing set of desires (e.g., opposite-sex attraction; desire for a traditional, nuclear family) according to how well those desires conform to their values (e.g., religiosity)?

[Gypsy-Vanner]

I think there's issue with the fact that these people may not/are not bi-sexual, they are gay and they are ignoring those desires in favor of their religious teachings of Mormonism which can be harmful to them and those around them. Repressed desires can build internal resentment and other harmful issues.

That's my take on the show description as I read it. Maybe I'm wrong.

[LSK]

If these men didn't value their relationships with their wives at all, then I think it would be irresponsible for TLC to promote the show. But even considering the extreme case—that these men are, in fact, exclusively same-sex attracted, don't have any romantic desire for their wives, and are in their heterosexual, married relationships primarily because of religious and ethical reasons—there's more to life, love, and companionship than sexual attraction, surely. And, when, in the course of life, we find that we have desires and values that conflict, I don't think it's cause for offense that people vary in how they order and act on these values and desires.

[Gypsy-Vanner]

I don't agree in the context that some conflicting desires and values are harmful to the individual and those around that individual.

They may think they value their wives but they were conditioned to. Their religion taught them homosexuality is a sin and they must never indulge in it. Sexual orientation is more than just who you are attracted to. It's part of one's identity. We are all made up of many parts and to repress one that is innate is harmful.

This is not a conflict such as hating animal abuse but continuing to eat meat. This conflict involves an innate trait, something that one cannot change about themselves. To tell young homosexuals that it's ok to repress their homosexuality based on misguided and delusional beliefs and that it's ok to want the traditional family life is just wrong.

There are many studies about the possible harmful results of sexual repression. Increased aggression, resentment of one's partner, guilt, shame etc...these feelings absolutely affect those around the one feeling them. Sexual repression most often leads to distortions of reality and loss of perspective.

[CashRules]

I thought the thread title was a Michelle Bachmann quote.

[thesalmonofdoubt]

The new special follows a group of Mormons "who are happily married and attracted to their wives," according to a press release for the show. But, the men are "also attracted to other men." However, the men in the TV special refer to their feelings as "Same Sex Attraction" and do not identify as gay

Given what they have given us to go on - the conclusion would be that these men are Bi, not gay. I find the whole "skipping over an entirely legitimate sexuality to label any man who is same sex attracted "gay"" just as problematic as what GLAAD is complaining about.

[Gypsy-Vanner]

What they have given us is more likely propaganda and nothing more. I highly suspect the motivations of this show and the "happily married and attracted to their wives" comment.

Mormons are not known for their love of homosexuality. They are pretty firm in their beliefs of homosexuality as sinful and marriage between one a man and woman is the only acceptable. It's one of their tenants. The Mormon church has established conversion organizations to rid their members of their sinful desires and such places are extremely harmful to homosexuals. While there is a small group of gay Mormons fighting for recognition and acceptance there is an even larger group that is fighting against it.

I see this show as nothing more than conservative Mormons attempting to tell the community that homosexuality can be overcome. I mean shit, one of the biggest Mormon websites tell it's members who have homosexual feelings to consider a life of celibacy! And the previous president/leader of the church said:

"“We want to help these people, to strengthen them, to assist them with their problems and to help them with their difficulties. But we cannot stand idle if they indulge in immoral activity, if they try to uphold and defend and live in a so-called same-sex marriage situation. To permit such would be to make light of the very serious and sacred foundation of God-sanctioned marriage and its very purpose, the rearing of families" (Ensign, Nov. 1998, 71)."

So yeah, a show based on Mormons and homosexuality should always be viewed with suspicion as there is a good chance their motivation is less than pure.

[Gendo]

Can't we just agree that ALL reality shows are stupid and awful and at least a little evil?

[CashRules]

That guy on Chrisley knows best is in his fifties and still hasn't figured out he's gay. I think his wife has figured it out and he's just not getting the hint.

[Gypsy-Vanner]

I like Alaska: The Last Frontier which is considered a reality show. That's about it for me on those types. I know some of it is bullshit especially when they edit the hell out of it like the time they show Atz Senior shooting a wolf and then walking up to it...only, the dead wolf they panned to had been dead for days possibly even weeks.

[CashRules]

Atz Senior

I like his daughter's music.

[Gypsy-Vanner]

I didn't know he had a daughter or that she is a musician. Someone I'd heard of?

[CashRules]

You didn't know that was the singer Jewel's family? I'll help you out, that's the singer Jewel's family. The same Jewel who had about a dozen pop hits in the 90s like "Foolish Games" and "Hands" and then married a professional rodeo cowboy, became a country singer and recorded a few more hits.

EDIT: That's her singing the theme song with her dad.

[Gypsy-Vanner]

Huh...I had no idea. Mind Blown!

[Gypsy-Vanner]

It's never been mentioned in the show and I never cared much for her music so never really knew much about her. Interesting her name is really spelled Juel.

[Gendo]

I like a couple Jewel songs, but I'd never heard of Atz Senior.

[LSK]

So, it looks like one of the stars of this show is a prominent "ex-gay" activist: http://mediamatters.org/blog/2015/01/08 ... x-g/202062

That doesn't bode well for the social message of the show.

[Gypsy-Vanner]

No, it doesn't. Makes me a sad panda.

[Unvoiced_Apollo]

Now you know why they haven't been called "The Learning Channel" in years.

[Pope Bucky]

...but his boyfriend is.