Evesdropping on a fascinating coversation bout bears in schools

[Gypsy-Vanner]

Couple co-workers are having a rousing debate on what a school is supposed to do if a grizzly were to wander in at some point during the school day. I can only assume this was sparked by our most recent cabinet appointment and her comment about needing guns to stop grizzly bears breaking into schools.

I'm not sure there is anyone less qualified to have this conversation than those two considering we live in Northern Illinois and the day a grizzly walks into one of our schools, we will have already lost the world to the apes.

[Raxivace]

When I was in middle school, we once went on lockdown for several hours because someone decided he just had plain had enough that day and tried to escape. Never found out what happened to him.

When I was in college we went on lockdown because of reports of someone with a "long gun" on the campus. Nothing ended up happening, and all the students basically made fun of it. Several weeks later Sandy Hook happened and it wasn't so funny anymore.

The idea of a bear threat however is hilarious- I'd imagine most schools would just have everyone hiding out in classrooms as in the above two scenarios.

[Gypsy-Vanner]

I'd imagine someone could call animal control to come collect the bear. Maybe these grizzly schools have no doors they can close or something.

[Eva Yojimbo]

All of this just confirms what Colbert had been saying about bears for ages:http://www.cc.com/video-clips/f0uh68/th ... ar-edition

[aels]

I work in a school and the only wildlife we need to worry about in my part of the world is seagulls. You should worry about seagulls though because seagulls don't feel fear or pity and are prone to a genetic condition known as being 'completely bastard mental'.

[CashRules]

SHOTGUNS FOR CORNWALL, BECAUSE SEAGULLS!

[the_dork_lord]

I would probably play dead. I have a lot of experience doing that during sixth period.

[CashRules]

You know, this grizzlies attacking schools is a serious threat. Just look at this map:

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/ ... is_map.svg

See that? As many as 0.0001% of the schoolchildren in the U.S. may be in danger of a grizzly bear attack at any time. I mean, just think of all those innocent children going to school IN THE MIDDLE OF YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK and the huge urban areas of western Montana. There's even a population of 10 - 12 grizzlies in northwestern Washington. Won't somebody please think of the children? Everybody in Alaska (all 25 of them) is born with a rifle in one hand and a skinning knife in the other so no need to worry about them anyway.

As a gun owner who strives to be reasonable about things, this is one of many wildlife maps that can thoroughly piss me off. Every state in the western U.S. used to have grizzlies and that's just within the last 200 years. What happened? Goddamn fucking assholes with goddamned fucking guns thought they had to kill every goddamned thing that fucking moved. Then look at the northeastern U.S. and eastern Canada and the lightly shaded area there. What happened? Goddamned fucking assholes with goddamned fucking spears thought they had to kill every goddamned thing that fucking moved. People have been a scourge on this planet for 200,000 years and it's time to do something about it.

[phe_de]

I heard that bears have bad eyes; so what you need to do is to prove that you are not a bear. Bears don't sing, so a suggestion is to start singing.

How about "Teddybear Picnic" or "Goldilocks"?