I've been reading Operación Sofia, which is a detailed report of the massacres at the Ixil triangle in Guatemala. It doesn't say much, it's mostly military babble that I don't understand. But the parts where they arrive at a location and they report how many ammunition they spent. You can only imagine in what or who they were spending that kind of ammo in.
There are also parts where they document shooting people, most of them under 18, fleeing from them.
I feel both extremely ashamed and frustratingly lucky. It's frustrating that white people are lucky, but we indeed are. And it sucks.
EDIT: No, fuck that. White people are lucky because of centuries of oppressing everyone they came into contact with. Now white people are "at the top", so to speak. But fuck that. If I acknowledge the "luck" that comes with having every advantage in this world, then I feel like that's essentially justifying all the blood that made it possible. Fuck that. Nobody's lucky. Certain countries are rough, but it definitely does not feel good knowing that somehow because I'm white I "avoided" bad places. Fuck all that.
The agonies which are have their origin in the ecstasies which might have been.
Cassius Clay wrote:My great-grandfather was white, so I'm partially entitled to some of this delicious white privilege. Give it to me...now.
I have it weird since even though technically I'm Caucasian. I look too white to be brown and too brown to be white. So I experience both privilege and oppression. It explains why on racial issues I'm hit or miss or I simply don't understand certain stuff but others are quite clear to me.