I'll be going on a world tour with Tina Turner next year!

[RandallFlagg]

Excellent news, everyone! Having persistently practiced my triangle-playing for many weeks, I was over the Moon when Tina Turner called and asked me to join her world tour next year. Well, sort of world tour, I guess. We’re skipping Asia, Africa, South America, Antarctica, Australia, and Croatia, because people on those continents don’t really listen much to music. They’re too busy harvesting sugar cane and manufacturing items that the rest of us can use every day, if we want to and have the monetary means to purchase them.

Anyway, I’ll be playing the triangle and have been promised at least six triangle solos per concert. I plan on making some of them exceptionally long, as I feel my stamina will compensate for my complete lack of skill.

There will be three dancers. Three! That’s significantly more dancers than I typically work with, given the relative lack of dancing in my research work. In many of the arenas we’ll be visiting, sports are typically being made, which is different from what we will be doing, as we will be doing music. Except for the dancers, who will most likely be dancing or performing light clerical work.

I am a little bit nervous, however, because we’ll be visiting Sopot in Poland, where I am wanted for war crimes. Lead triangle player is a prominent position, but I hope Tina Turner will draw some of the focus away from me, at least while we’re in Sopot, Poland. I don't think any of the rhythm triangle players are wanted for war crimes, otherwise I'd use them as a distraction.

I have high hopes for the year 2000! I wonder if Tina will let me play any of my own songs.

Hope you guys are well and have backed up all your data.

[Gendo]

Thank you for single handedly keeping this message board active and thriving.