The Pitters' Place

Captain America: Civil War - pretty good... for a Marvel movie. There's like twenty main characters now. Captain America is an asshole. I like Spiderman and Black Panther. The airport scene was good. Parts of it were funny. The political messages of it were disturbing, but that's true for any superhero movie.

6/10

The Conjuring 2 - well, it was definitely better than the first one, I'll give it that. Far creepier, definitely more intense. Some scary imagery. Very cliched, but the cliches mostly work. It's really long but I didn't notice the length. I was pretty absorbed the entire time. There was a decent emotional center in it.

6.5/10

Zootopia - it was okay.

Derived Absurdity wrote:Zootopia - it was okay.

^No taste.

Well, it was.

Derived Absurdity wrote:Well, it was.

Just giving you a hard time.

I think it's the second best movie of 2016 I've seen this year. Don't know if that's a reflection of its quality, the lesser quality of other movies, or both.

I really liked the subtext and the messaging. I liked the humor (really? Breaking Bad parodies? lol). I liked the plot and the characters, mostly.

But I think Pixar is ruining animated movies for me, because if an animated movie doesn't have an emotional core as solid as Pixar's movies are known for, it seems to fall flat for me nowadays. Pixar is (generally) very good at making movies with a strong emotional resonance that feels natural and organic and which strengthens the characters and the story. This movie felt very Dreamworks - it dropped the emotion (for the most part) in favor of jokes and subtext. I didn't feel like the bunny and the fox's relationship (whatever their names were) developed naturally, rather it felt like it went through a series of scripted checkpoints, so their big break-up and tearful reunion, which was the emotional backbone of the movie, didn't really work for me.

So it was okay.

Wreck-It-Ralph - um WOW. That was super-good. Holy crap. That was great. Why is this movie not, like, bigger? I barely even knew it existed. Bruce is like the only person who ever mentioned it here. I rarely see it mentioned ever. Whatever. Seriously that was great.

9/10

Yes, Wreck-it-Ralph is pretty fucking great.

Derived Absurdity wrote:Wreck-It-Ralph - um WOW. That was super-good. Holy crap. That was great. Why is this movie not, like, bigger? I barely even knew it existed. Bruce is like the only person who ever mentioned it here. I rarely see it mentioned ever. Whatever. Seriously that was great.

9/10

That's because it's so 2012.

Punch Drunk Love - okay, fine, I liked it. Whatever.

They're making a Wreck-it-Ralph 2, although I doubt it'll live up to the original. It'll probably be more of a money grab.

Wreck-It-Ralph 2: The Wreckoning

Super 8 - LOL what the hell was that shit. What a goddamn mess. Was that supposed to be a good movie or something? Nothing made sense, plot points were completely dropped, characters were completely sidelined, there was no characterization at all, the tone was all over the place, and the ending was lame as fuck. There was barely even a story or any character arcs. Was it trying to be nostalgic or something? Because whatever it was trying to do it failed. Hard.

2/10

Derived Absurdity wrote:Punch Drunk Love - okay, fine, I liked it. Whatever.

^ Sandler fanboy.

Suicide Squad - lol


lol/10

Derived Absurdity wrote:Suicide Squad - lol


lol/10

Fair rating (no sarcasm intended). You should watch screen junkie's movie fights.

Damn that video's almost as long as the movie itself...

Well I'm about ten minutes in and that guy on the right with the green hat is on point. I just have to take issue with the claim that this movie is dark and fun. I get that a movie can fail on a technical and storytelling level and still be fun, and many of them do, but how was this one fun? I thought most of it was dull. The characters were fine in isolation but besides the bar scene they didn't really have any interesting group dynamics or interactions. I barely even remember anything in it besides the first and last act.

And how is it "dark"? This movie is about as light and child-friendly as you can get when you gather up a bunch of villains together and essentially set them loose. The tone and aesthetic may have been dark, but that's it, and as the dude says it wasn't consistent anyway. There's nothing here your average eight-year-old couldn't handle. It almost could have been PG.

Derived Absurdity wrote:Damn that video's almost as long as the movie itself...

Well I'm about ten minutes in and that guy on the right with the green hat is on point. I just have to take issue with the claim that this movie is dark and fun. I get that a movie can fail on a technical and storytelling level and still be fun, and many of them do, but how was this one fun? I thought most of it was dull. The characters were fine in isolation but besides the bar scene they didn't really have any interesting group dynamics or interactions. I barely even remember anything in it besides the first and last act.

And how is it "dark"? This movie is about as light and child-friendly as you can get when you gather up a bunch of villains together and essentially set them loose. The tone and aesthetic may have been dark, but that's it, and as the dude says it wasn't consistent anyway. There's nothing here your average eight-year-old couldn't handle. It almost could have been PG.

Um...what video?

Oh...nvm

As an aside, this is actually one movie I'm looking forward to the Honest Trailers of.

Derived Absurdity wrote:Damn that video's almost as long as the movie itself...

I get that a movie can fail on a technical and storytelling level and still be fun, and many of them do, but how was this one fun? I thought most of it was dull.

You have to have add to appreciate how fun it can be. Or high. Or both.

And I don't have a none face. I actually mean it.

... I've made a huge mistake...

No Country for Old Men - well I still don't get what the big deal is. But I enjoyed it.

The Witch - well I finally saw it. It was pretty good. It wasn't scary, but I wasn't really expecting it to be; it was mostly tense and unsettling. The acting was top-notch, the pacing was good, the dialogue was really interesting (even though I couldn't fucking hear half of it), the style was gorgeous, and it seemed very raw and real, with the events flowing organically. The family dynamics were the most interesting part for me. I'm not sure how much substance there was to it - if it "meant" anything or whatever - but it was interesting. I might have to watch it a second time.

I just saw suicide squad this past weekend. There's a part of me that enjoyed it because I'm a comic book nerd and like seeing the characters brought to life on the big screen, but overall this was a real turd of a movie.

Marvel makes it seem so easy to pull off superhero movies that are at worst decent films, I don't know what DC is doing with any of the choices they've made thus far.

DC is definitely making me appreciate Marvel a lot more.

I had planned to see Suicide Squad, but after everything I've been hearing about it I changed my mind and went to see Sausage Party instead. Jesus. No way Suicide Squad is worse than Sauage Party. Just no way. Fucking hell.

Paprika - ... ugh. I turned it off after twenty minutes. God I fucking hate anime.

BruceSmith78 wrote:I had planned to see Suicide Squad, but after everything I've been hearing about it I changed my mind and went to see Sausage Party instead. Jesus. No way Suicide Squad is worse than Sauage Party. Just no way. Fucking hell.

I'll take that bet.

Man, 'The Witch' creeped me the FUCK out! Just saw it. I don't know what you guys are talking about.

Cassius Clay wrote:Man, 'The Witch' creeped me the FUCK out! Just saw it. I don't know what you guys are talking about.

I found 'The Witch' to be boring & the music overpoweringly grating. The acting was pretty good though.

Wouldst thou like to live...deliciously?

Batman vs Superman: Whatever of Whatever - well it wasn't that bad. I mean, yeah, it was terrible and should never have been made, but there are so many movies like that that get good reviews I don't know why the critics all of a sudden came to their senses on this one. It didn't seem significantly worse than a bunch of other blockbuster movies. It was visually pretty good. The plot made no sense, the acting was bad, the pacing was awful, it was boring, and the message was fucking awful. Still better than Suicide Squad.

Derived Absurdity wrote:Batman vs Superman: Whatever of Whatever - well it wasn't that bad. I mean, yeah, it was terrible and should never have been made, but there are so many movies like that that get good reviews I don't know why the critics all of a sudden came to their senses on this one. It didn't seem significantly worse than a bunch of other blockbuster movies. It was visually pretty good. The plot made no sense, the acting was bad, the pacing was awful, it was boring, and the message was fucking awful. Still better than Suicide Squad.

I know I'm going to regret asking this, but what other movies would you compare this to in terms of quality but getting better reviews.

The Dark Knight Rises, Age of Ultron, The Amazing Spiderman, most of the X-Men movies I've seen. A lot of crappy Marvel movies (Thor, Hulk, etc).

Nightcrawler - man this movie is good. I think I've watched it about five times so far and it just gets better every time. 10/10

Crazy, Stupid, Love - I watched this movie finally because of you people. It was okay. I liked the Shakespearian twist. I hated all the female characters. The people acted like the writers were aliens who studied human behavior by watching sitcoms for a week.

Black Snake Moan - dafuck was that??? No seriously. What the fuck?? I hate people.

Derived Absurdity wrote:Black Snake Moan - dafuck was that??? No seriously. What the fuck?? I hate people.

Ha, I watched that a few years ago. Yeah, not sure what it was trying to do.

I didn't get it AT ALL. Any message it was trying to send was undercut by the fact that Samuel Jackson didn't bother to give her pants for like the first hour.

White Girl - I mean... just... what? What was the point? Just... why?

2/10

Kong: Skull Island - whatever. Peter Jackson's was better. 5/10

Derived Absurdity wrote:I didn't get it AT ALL. Any message it was trying to send was undercut by the fact that Samuel Jackson didn't bother to give her pants for like the first hour.

I just saw this. In the 2+ months since you made that post I hope you've taken the time to rethink the idea that if you have a half-naked young woman chained up in your front yard you should give her pants. That's just crazy talk.

Pete's Dragon - it was good. I cried. 7.5/10



yeah, I only watch movies after they show up on Netflix. sue me.

Moana - A+ Fury Road homage, 10/10

Moonlight - just saw it. I'm sorry, I really am, but I was bored af, at least near the end. I'm a big fan of movies about emotional vulnerability/intimacy, but that just did nothing for me at all. I think Bruce's comment about a lot of the dialogue feeling inorganic is accurate, too. Idk, I didn't like it.

Guardians of the Galaxy 2 - it was better than the first. The attempts at being funny were more successful, on average. It was also somewhat emotional, although a lot of it felt forced.