The Pitters' Place

I suppose this should go on the film board but I don't care.

I just read something about Kate Hudson dating Nick Jonas. You know, from Jonas Brothers, some huge teen heartthrob band or whatever? Reading about it made me really uncomfortable. I typically don't give a shit about age differences like that Olsen twin dating that 49 year old dude but this stuck me creepy like.

The fact that Michael Bay is allowed to keep making movies pisses me off.

I don't think the Jonas brothers are teenagers anymore.

I tend to think it doesn't matter much once you're in your mid twenties. If he was 18 or 19, it would be legal but still weird/creepy.

I remember hearing the dude from Kick Ass got married to a 40-something year old when he was like 20. I thought that was a little weird. But, I did hook up with a woman in her 40s in my early 20s and I regret nothing.

I meant they were teeny bop idols. I actually have no idea how to describe this? I'm getting old.
Like, when I was a teen I had posters of 90210 actors on my walls just like every other teen my age?

Actually, I give up.

Kate is my age and I have a daughter who was infatuated with Jonas Brothers a few years ago when they became big so the idea of Kate dating one of my daughters teen idols is disturbing.

And shut up Sikax. I like Bay and his movies.

Only 13 years of age difference and both over 20? No, I don't find it weird.

What I find weird is Draco and Muriel pretending to be women.

You know what I find weird? Internet relationships, what's up with those weirdos?

Cassius Clay wrote:I tend to think it doesn't matter much once you're in your mid twenties. If he was 18 or 19, it would be legal but still weird/creepy.

I generally take the attitude that the creepiness of an age gap relationship is contingent on the age of the youngest party. Like 27/47 is way different to 17/37.

Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher was a weird one.

Tim Robbins and his mother was a weird one.

I'm all for any consensual relationships, but I hear of ancient doomsday prophecies being fulfilled if ever a fishperson and a pigfarmer do....'stuff'.....

Ok apparently it's just a personal bias.

She's 36 and he's 23 and his potential mother in law is like 453 years old or something.

Goldie Hawn has aged 200 years in the last 10. That may be mean but she did it to herself with all that plastic surgery trying to stay young forever and it backfired in a big way. She used to be one of my favorite asses, I mean actresses.

Whitey wrote:I'm all for any consensual relationships, but I hear of ancient doomsday prophecies being fulfilled if ever a fishperson and a pigfarmer do....'stuff'.....

I'm actually a polar bear though so it's fine.

Gypsy-Vanner wrote:Ok apparently it's just a personal bias.

There are probably a ton of relationships I find weird (as I told a friend recently, I don't need to know people in order to remorselessly judge them), I'm just always shit at coming up with examples when asked. My memory is not good.

aels wrote:

Whitey wrote:I'm all for any consensual relationships, but I hear of ancient doomsday prophecies being fulfilled if ever a fishperson and a pigfarmer do....'stuff'.....

I'm actually a polar bear though so it's fine.

You're a bit out of your natural habitat down in Cornwall.

If Londoners can buy second homes here, I don't see why a bear can't.

all relationships

OurGloriousLeader wrote:all relationships

Pretty much this.

OurGloriousLeader wrote:all relationships

That's been my experience.

To the age gap thing - I don't really have any opinion past, what has already been mentioned, that if the youngest party is still technically a very young aduly/almost a kid - who dates a person who is well out of the "I'm a kid" space, then it seems weird/almost predatory on behalf of the older person - individual circumstances prevail tho and I would avoid blanket statements.

One thing that I have noted at an anecdotal level is that huge age gaps are fine until you find yourself at some other critical life juncture. Lets say I'm 40 and I am dating a 20 year old .. things truck along fine while we are both effectively doing the same thing - going to work, raising a family, taking long trips, building for the future .. but when I am 60 and looking to slow down, get ready to retire, start having health issues that slow me down or just hit that age when "young persons stuff" has no appeal and spending a day gardening seems the go .. and my partner is 40 and no where near ready for any of that - shit seems to happen.

thesalmonofdoubt wrote:One thing that I have noted at an anecdotal level is that huge age gaps are fine until you find yourself at some other critical life juncture. Lets say I'm 40 and I am dating a 20 year old .. things truck along fine while we are both effectively doing the same thing - going to work, raising a family, taking long trips, building for the future .. but when I am 60 and looking to slow down, get ready to retire, start having health issues that slow me down or just hit that age when "young persons stuff" has no appeal and spending a day gardening seems the go .. and my partner is 40 and no where near ready for any of that - shit seems to happen.

See, that's why the older party needs to date a younger person who maybe is also tired and has a bad back all the time and doesn't want to go out clubbing and would rather stay at home in a snuggie awaiting death.

aels wrote:

thesalmonofdoubt wrote:One thing that I have noted at an anecdotal level is that huge age gaps are fine until you find yourself at some other critical life juncture. Lets say I'm 40 and I am dating a 20 year old .. things truck along fine while we are both effectively doing the same thing - going to work, raising a family, taking long trips, building for the future .. but when I am 60 and looking to slow down, get ready to retire, start having health issues that slow me down or just hit that age when "young persons stuff" has no appeal and spending a day gardening seems the go .. and my partner is 40 and no where near ready for any of that - shit seems to happen.

See, that's why the older party needs to date a younger person who maybe is also tired and has a bad back all the time and doesn't want to go out clubbing and would rather stay at home in a snuggie awaiting death.

Lol - well, yep, there's that.. I get around all these complications by putting enormous effort into remaining single.

I was single for six years, it was lovely.

I was single for 16 years.

aels wrote:I was single for six years, it was lovely.

I'm going on just over two years now and I'm enjoying it - I can never be sure whether I'm acting out of dysfunction (based on being burnt to the point where my comfort zone is the path of least resistance) or whether I just really am better suited to being single because that suits me.
I've been single plenty of times in the past, never for enormously protracted periods of time - but always happily so.. and I think I kept getting into relationships at some level because as an adult, you are supposed to be in a relationship. I've been in love a couple of times but even with that context , as with anything, there were aspects of being in a relationship that I didn't like and loads about being single that I missed.

Now that I have procreated and have my life settled - I feel almost like I've ticked off enuff boxes to not worry about external pressure to hook up and be in a relationship so I can be considered a real life adult .. even tho there is still the usual pressure on now that I've been single for long enuff for people to feel they can now start asking me when I'm going to get out there and date again.

I'm pretty sure damage is dictating some of my preferences at the moment tho - there was one particular lass who was loverly, gorgeous and mad keen on me - the only problem is that she was currently married (started going thru a separation) and to top that off she is married to a mate of mine (not by any means a close mate - but he is the reason I know her) .. So we organised to go out (she's spent enormous swags of time PM'ing me on FB prior to announcing she was about to split from her hubby) then PM'd me to say that she's splitting and I was the only person she has told so far (which was weird given it was almost exclusively a FB relationship at that point) - I said something to the effect of "Oh that sucks - anything I can do?" to which she replied that she needed a night out of the house and do I want to get dinner.. I kinda felt forced into saying "Sure" then peppering my responses with "Always there as an ear or a shoulder if you need it" .. so we went out and the entire night was all about what a perfect partner I'd make and I don't want to talk about the marriage break down.

So - I used the context to knock it all back but the entire time I kept thinking that even if everything was different and she's been single for a while - I've still got no desire to get back into anything cos I'm still enjoying being single.

Executive summary - I'm probably gonna die single and be eaten by my dogs .. and I'm kinda cool with that.

I have only had one relationship, and it was kinda rubbish except for the sex I was beginning to think I could technically grow old and alone and it wouldn't really bother me. I can spend endless amounts of time doing what I like when I'm single. I hate having to take other people into consideration. But then I met Amy and she seems really awesome so far, and I would very much like to hold onto her!

So yeah, all relationships are weird. One minute you're pootling along minding your own business, the next someone comes along and your brain says WE MUST ALWAYS BE WITH THEM, and you're lyk, wtf brain, what about my xbox, is that not enough for you??!!

Nope...apparently.

I've been single for 48 years.

thesalmonofdoubt wrote:

aels wrote:

thesalmonofdoubt wrote:One thing that I have noted at an anecdotal level is that huge age gaps are fine until you find yourself at some other critical life juncture. Lets say I'm 40 and I am dating a 20 year old .. things truck along fine while we are both effectively doing the same thing - going to work, raising a family, taking long trips, building for the future .. but when I am 60 and looking to slow down, get ready to retire, start having health issues that slow me down or just hit that age when "young persons stuff" has no appeal and spending a day gardening seems the go .. and my partner is 40 and no where near ready for any of that - shit seems to happen.

See, that's why the older party needs to date a younger person who maybe is also tired and has a bad back all the time and doesn't want to go out clubbing and would rather stay at home in a snuggie awaiting death.

Lol - well, yep, there's that.. I get around all these complications by putting enormous effort into remaining single.

Wait, did you get divorced?

Yep - two years ago now !