The Forest

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Sat May 21, 2016 5:56 am

Captain America: Civil War - pretty good... for a Marvel movie. There's like twenty main characters now. Captain America is an asshole. I like Spiderman and Black Panther. The airport scene was good. Parts of it were funny. The political messages of it were disturbing, but that's true for any superhero movie.

6/10

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Sat Jun 18, 2016 6:32 am

The Conjuring 2 - well, it was definitely better than the first one, I'll give it that. Far creepier, definitely more intense. Some scary imagery. Very cliched, but the cliches mostly work. It's really long but I didn't notice the length. I was pretty absorbed the entire time. There was a decent emotional center in it.

6.5/10

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Fri Jun 24, 2016 1:54 pm

Zootopia - it was okay.

Unvoiced_Apollo · Post by **Unvoiced_Apollo** » Fri Jun 24, 2016 7:16 pm

Derived Absurdity wrote:Zootopia - it was okay.

^No taste.

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:32 pm

Well, it was.

Unvoiced_Apollo · Post by **Unvoiced_Apollo** » Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:56 pm

Derived Absurdity wrote:Well, it was.

Just giving you a hard time.

I think it's the second best movie of 2016 I've seen this year. Don't know if that's a reflection of its quality, the lesser quality of other movies, or both.

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Fri Jun 24, 2016 11:25 pm

I really liked the subtext and the messaging. I liked the humor (really? Breaking Bad parodies? lol). I liked the plot and the characters, mostly.

But I think Pixar is ruining animated movies for me, because if an animated movie doesn't have an emotional core as solid as Pixar's movies are known for, it seems to fall flat for me nowadays. Pixar is (generally) very good at making movies with a strong emotional resonance that feels natural and organic and which strengthens the characters and the story. This movie felt very Dreamworks - it dropped the emotion (for the most part) in favor of jokes and subtext. I didn't feel like the bunny and the fox's relationship (whatever their names were) developed naturally, rather it felt like it went through a series of scripted checkpoints, so their big break-up and tearful reunion, which was the emotional backbone of the movie, didn't really work for me.

So it was okay.

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Sat Jun 25, 2016 12:59 am

Wreck-It-Ralph - um WOW. That was super-good. Holy crap. That was great. Why is this movie not, like, bigger? I barely even knew it existed. Bruce is like the only person who ever mentioned it here. I rarely see it mentioned ever. Whatever. Seriously that was great.

9/10

BruceSmith78 · Post by **BruceSmith78** » Sat Jun 25, 2016 1:39 am

Yes, Wreck-it-Ralph is pretty fucking great.

Unvoiced_Apollo · Post by **Unvoiced_Apollo** » Sat Jun 25, 2016 4:08 pm

Derived Absurdity wrote:Wreck-It-Ralph - um WOW. That was super-good. Holy crap. That was great. Why is this movie not, like, bigger? I barely even knew it existed. Bruce is like the only person who ever mentioned it here. I rarely see it mentioned ever. Whatever. Seriously that was great.

9/10

That's because it's so 2012.

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Fri Jul 01, 2016 3:03 am

Punch Drunk Love - okay, fine, I liked it. Whatever.

BruceSmith78 · Post by **BruceSmith78** » Fri Jul 01, 2016 3:32 am

They're making a Wreck-it-Ralph 2, although I doubt it'll live up to the original. It'll probably be more of a money grab.

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Fri Jul 01, 2016 10:09 am

Wreck-It-Ralph 2: The Wreckoning

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Mon Jul 04, 2016 9:47 pm

Super 8 - LOL what the hell was that shit. What a goddamn mess. Was that supposed to be a good movie or something? Nothing made sense, plot points were completely dropped, characters were completely sidelined, there was no characterization at all, the tone was all over the place, and the ending was lame as fuck. There was barely even a story or any character arcs. Was it trying to be nostalgic or something? Because whatever it was trying to do it failed. Hard.

2/10

Post by **Gendo** » Tue Jul 05, 2016 2:21 am

Derived Absurdity wrote:Punch Drunk Love - okay, fine, I liked it. Whatever.

^ Sandler fanboy.

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Sun Aug 14, 2016 5:37 am

Suicide Squad - lol

lol/10

Unvoiced_Apollo · Post by **Unvoiced_Apollo** » Sun Aug 14, 2016 12:27 pm

Derived Absurdity wrote:Suicide Squad - lol

lol/10

Fair rating (no sarcasm intended). You should watch screen junkie's movie fights.

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Sun Aug 14, 2016 5:57 pm

Damn that video's almost as long as the movie itself...

Well I'm about ten minutes in and that guy on the right with the green hat is on point. I just have to take issue with the claim that this movie is dark and fun. I get that a movie can fail on a technical and storytelling level and still be fun, and many of them do, but how was this one fun? I thought most of it was dull. The characters were fine in isolation but besides the bar scene they didn't really have any interesting group dynamics or interactions. I barely even remember anything in it besides the first and last act.

And how is it "dark"? This movie is about as light and child-friendly as you can get when you gather up a bunch of villains together and essentially set them loose. The tone and aesthetic may have been dark, but that's it, and as the dude says it wasn't consistent anyway. There's nothing here your average eight-year-old couldn't handle. It almost could have been PG.

Unvoiced_Apollo · Post by **Unvoiced_Apollo** » Mon Aug 15, 2016 2:18 pm

Derived Absurdity wrote:Damn that video's almost as long as the movie itself...

Well I'm about ten minutes in and that guy on the right with the green hat is on point. I just have to take issue with the claim that this movie is dark and fun. I get that a movie can fail on a technical and storytelling level and still be fun, and many of them do, but how was this one fun? I thought most of it was dull. The characters were fine in isolation but besides the bar scene they didn't really have any interesting group dynamics or interactions. I barely even remember anything in it besides the first and last act.

And how is it "dark"? This movie is about as light and child-friendly as you can get when you gather up a bunch of villains together and essentially set them loose. The tone and aesthetic may have been dark, but that's it, and as the dude says it wasn't consistent anyway. There's nothing here your average eight-year-old couldn't handle. It almost could have been PG.

Um...what video?

Oh...nvm

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Mon Aug 15, 2016 6:42 pm

As an aside, this is actually one movie I'm looking forward to the Honest Trailers of.

Dr_Liszt · Post by **Dr_Liszt** » Mon Aug 15, 2016 8:26 pm

Derived Absurdity wrote:Damn that video's almost as long as the movie itself...

I get that a movie can fail on a technical and storytelling level and still be fun, and many of them do, but how was this one fun? I thought most of it was dull.

You have to have add to appreciate how fun it can be. Or high. Or both.

And I don't have a none face. I actually mean it.

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Mon Aug 15, 2016 11:56 pm

... I've made a huge mistake...

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Tue Aug 16, 2016 4:57 pm

No Country for Old Men - well I still don't get what the big deal is. But I enjoyed it.

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Wed Aug 31, 2016 6:07 am

The Witch - well I finally saw it. It was pretty good. It wasn't scary, but I wasn't really expecting it to be; it was mostly tense and unsettling. The acting was top-notch, the pacing was good, the dialogue was really interesting (even though I couldn't fucking hear half of it), the style was gorgeous, and it seemed very raw and real, with the events flowing organically. The family dynamics were the most interesting part for me. I'm not sure how much substance there was to it - if it "meant" anything or whatever - but it was interesting. I might have to watch it a second time.

Boomer · Post by **Boomer** » Wed Aug 31, 2016 2:12 pm

I just saw suicide squad this past weekend. There's a part of me that enjoyed it because I'm a comic book nerd and like seeing the characters brought to life on the big screen, but overall this was a real turd of a movie.

Marvel makes it seem so easy to pull off superhero movies that are at worst decent films, I don't know what DC is doing with any of the choices they've made thus far.

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Wed Aug 31, 2016 2:59 pm

DC is definitely making me appreciate Marvel a lot more.

BruceSmith78 · Post by **BruceSmith78** » Wed Aug 31, 2016 9:45 pm

I had planned to see Suicide Squad, but after everything I've been hearing about it I changed my mind and went to see Sausage Party instead. Jesus. No way Suicide Squad is worse than Sauage Party. Just no way. Fucking hell.

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Thu Sep 01, 2016 6:10 am

Paprika - ... ugh. I turned it off after twenty minutes. God I fucking hate anime.

Unvoiced_Apollo · Post by **Unvoiced_Apollo** » Thu Sep 01, 2016 11:20 am

BruceSmith78 wrote:I had planned to see Suicide Squad, but after everything I've been hearing about it I changed my mind and went to see Sausage Party instead. Jesus. No way Suicide Squad is worse than Sauage Party. Just no way. Fucking hell.

I'll take that bet.

Cassius Clay · Post by **Cassius Clay** » Sun Sep 04, 2016 3:07 am

Man, 'The Witch' creeped me the FUCK out! Just saw it. I don't know what you guys are talking about.

Unvoiced_Apollo · Post by **Unvoiced_Apollo** » Mon Sep 05, 2016 12:32 pm

Cassius Clay wrote:Man, 'The Witch' creeped me the FUCK out! Just saw it. I don't know what you guys are talking about.

I found 'The Witch' to be boring & the music overpoweringly grating. The acting was pretty good though.

Cassius Clay · Post by **Cassius Clay** » Mon Sep 05, 2016 2:36 pm

Wouldst thou like to live...deliciously?

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Thu Sep 08, 2016 8:52 pm

Batman vs Superman: Whatever of Whatever - well it wasn't that bad. I mean, yeah, it was terrible and should never have been made, but there are so many movies like that that get good reviews I don't know why the critics all of a sudden came to their senses on this one. It didn't seem significantly worse than a bunch of other blockbuster movies. It was visually pretty good. The plot made no sense, the acting was bad, the pacing was awful, it was boring, and the message was fucking awful. Still better than Suicide Squad.

Unvoiced_Apollo · Post by **Unvoiced_Apollo** » Fri Sep 09, 2016 6:36 pm

Derived Absurdity wrote:Batman vs Superman: Whatever of Whatever - well it wasn't that bad. I mean, yeah, it was terrible and should never have been made, but there are so many movies like that that get good reviews I don't know why the critics all of a sudden came to their senses on this one. It didn't seem significantly worse than a bunch of other blockbuster movies. It was visually pretty good. The plot made no sense, the acting was bad, the pacing was awful, it was boring, and the message was fucking awful. Still better than Suicide Squad.

I know I'm going to regret asking this, but what other movies would you compare this to in terms of quality but getting better reviews.

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Fri Sep 09, 2016 7:08 pm

The Dark Knight Rises, Age of Ultron, The Amazing Spiderman, most of the X-Men movies I've seen. A lot of crappy Marvel movies (Thor, Hulk, etc).

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Sat Sep 10, 2016 2:07 am

Nightcrawler - man this movie is good. I think I've watched it about five times so far and it just gets better every time. 10/10

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Tue Oct 18, 2016 3:35 am

Crazy, Stupid, Love - I watched this movie finally because of you people. It was okay. I liked the Shakespearian twist. I hated all the female characters. The people acted like the writers were aliens who studied human behavior by watching sitcoms for a week.

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Fri Dec 09, 2016 8:04 pm

Black Snake Moan - dafuck was that??? No seriously. What the fuck?? I hate people.

Post by **Gendo** » Sat Dec 10, 2016 11:24 pm

Derived Absurdity wrote:Black Snake Moan - dafuck was that??? No seriously. What the fuck?? I hate people.

Ha, I watched that a few years ago. Yeah, not sure what it was trying to do.

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Sun Dec 11, 2016 3:04 am

I didn't get it AT ALL. Any message it was trying to send was undercut by the fact that Samuel Jackson didn't bother to give her pants for like the first hour.

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Tue Jan 03, 2017 5:42 am

White Girl - I mean... just... what? What was the point? Just... why?

2/10

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 11:12 am

Kong: Skull Island - whatever. Peter Jackson's was better. 5/10

CashRules · Post by **CashRules** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:45 pm

Derived Absurdity wrote:I didn't get it AT ALL. Any message it was trying to send was undercut by the fact that Samuel Jackson didn't bother to give her pants for like the first hour.

I just saw this. In the 2+ months since you made that post I hope you've taken the time to rethink the idea that if you have a half-naked young woman chained up in your front yard you should give her pants. That's just crazy talk.

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Tue Mar 21, 2017 9:00 pm

Pete's Dragon - it was good. I cried. 7.5/10

yeah, I only watch movies after they show up on Netflix. sue me.

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Fri Apr 07, 2017 5:52 pm

Moana - A+ Fury Road homage, 10/10

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Fri Apr 07, 2017 8:51 pm

Moonlight - just saw it. I'm sorry, I really am, but I was bored af, at least near the end. I'm a big fan of movies about emotional vulnerability/intimacy, but that just did nothing for me at all. I think Bruce's comment about a lot of the dialogue feeling inorganic is accurate, too. Idk, I didn't like it.

Derived Absurdity · Post by **Derived Absurdity** » Sat Jun 03, 2017 3:52 am

Guardians of the Galaxy 2 - it was better than the first. The attempts at being funny were more successful, on average. It was also somewhat emotional, although a lot of it felt forced.