There was a flying cockroach in my bedroom last night
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There was a flying cockroach in my bedroom last night
I spent about an hour trying to murder it or chase it out the window but it wouldn't stay still and it's incredibly difficult to whack a flying cockroach. Then it would go hide somewhere and I'd think it was gone, only for it to pop up again and surprise me.
And then it was 2am and I decided to give up and go sleep on the couch. But then I got mad that a cockroach had chased me out of my own room, so I went back. Also it's July and this is the equator and air conditioning was necessary, which meant I had to close the door, and therefore I spent all night trapped in a room with a flying cockroach and thinking about that woman who had a cockroach crawl up her nose and nest in her skull. I hear that some cockroaches only fly when they're pregnant, which meant there was a non-zero probability that this cockroach might crawl up my nose and lay eggs in my skull.
It's the bravest thing I've ever done and I needed to share.
I still have no idea if it's still there.
And then it was 2am and I decided to give up and go sleep on the couch. But then I got mad that a cockroach had chased me out of my own room, so I went back. Also it's July and this is the equator and air conditioning was necessary, which meant I had to close the door, and therefore I spent all night trapped in a room with a flying cockroach and thinking about that woman who had a cockroach crawl up her nose and nest in her skull. I hear that some cockroaches only fly when they're pregnant, which meant there was a non-zero probability that this cockroach might crawl up my nose and lay eggs in my skull.
It's the bravest thing I've ever done and I needed to share.
I still have no idea if it's still there.
Re: There was a flying cockroach in my bedroom last night
You need to burn down the house just to be sure.
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You can't hang a man for killing a woman who's trying to steal his horse.
You can't hang a man for killing a woman who's trying to steal his horse.
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Re: There was a flying cockroach in my bedroom last night
It's an apartment, but the neighbors should understand.
Also today I found a dead baby cockroach in my closet. My room is fastidiously neat. I don't know what they're doing here. Unless they're after food, because I learnt that cockroaches sometimes eat the flesh of living humans.
Also today I found a dead baby cockroach in my closet. My room is fastidiously neat. I don't know what they're doing here. Unless they're after food, because I learnt that cockroaches sometimes eat the flesh of living humans.
Re: There was a flying cockroach in my bedroom last night
I once lived in a student dormitory with cockroaches in it, and the owners then had cockroach traps installed in every room. They worked; after the installation the cockroaches became less, and I never had a problem with cockroaches in my skull or food.
Another story from that time (before the traps were installed): I once saw a cockroach crawl on a kitchen desk, and debated internally whether to kill it or not. I wasn't atheist at the time and prayed to God for guidance.
And then, the heavens opened up, the cherubs played on their trumpets, and God said in a booming voice:
COCKROACHES ARE NOT MORE HARMFUL THAN HUMANS!
...ok, this last bit is an artistic embellishment on my part. What really happened was: The cockroach changed its walking direction and walked towards a dirty puddle on the desk, which I hadn't noticed before, which was obviously caused by humans, and which was bigger than any cockroach excrement could have been. I interpreted this as cockroaches not causing more damage than humans.
I let the cockroach live, and have not killed one since.
Another story from that time (before the traps were installed): I once saw a cockroach crawl on a kitchen desk, and debated internally whether to kill it or not. I wasn't atheist at the time and prayed to God for guidance.
And then, the heavens opened up, the cherubs played on their trumpets, and God said in a booming voice:
COCKROACHES ARE NOT MORE HARMFUL THAN HUMANS!
...ok, this last bit is an artistic embellishment on my part. What really happened was: The cockroach changed its walking direction and walked towards a dirty puddle on the desk, which I hadn't noticed before, which was obviously caused by humans, and which was bigger than any cockroach excrement could have been. I interpreted this as cockroaches not causing more damage than humans.
I let the cockroach live, and have not killed one since.
Common sense is another word for prejudice.
Re: There was a flying cockroach in my bedroom last night
The bigger the fire, the bigger the party.Anakin McFly wrote:It's an apartment, but the neighbors should understand.
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You can't hang a man for killing a woman who's trying to steal his horse.
You can't hang a man for killing a woman who's trying to steal his horse.
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Re: There was a flying cockroach in my bedroom last night
@phe_de - I'd have preferred if the cockroach had just flown out the window (or even just out of my room), since murder is usually a last resort. (Especially since if they're pregnant the eggs/baby cockroaches will apparently sploosh everywhere.) Tbh I was primarily worried about it crawling over / into my face while I slept, rather than the damage it causes, which I agree is nothing compared to what humans do; although they also spread dangerous germs that's not good around food.
I also remember doctors saying that it's actually quite common to see patients with cockroaches that crawled into their ears. It would be terrifying enough if it were rare.
I also remember doctors saying that it's actually quite common to see patients with cockroaches that crawled into their ears. It would be terrifying enough if it were rare.
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Re: There was a flying cockroach in my bedroom last night
this thread is giving me cancer
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Re: There was a flying cockroach in my bedroom last night
It's not murder if you eat it.
"Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose"
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Re: There was a flying cockroach in my bedroom last night
But I'm definitely not going to eat it, so it's still murder.