Mass shootings and white nationalism

[Cassius Clay]

All understanding truths/causal-paths can be corrupted by the subjective axis of deserving. Making it harder to see through it. Every single thing I've written here can be corrupted by the very thing I'm attempting to deconstruct. Similar to how I once had a conversation about playing the blame-game/being defensive/adversarial in an attempt to improve communication...but the convo was almost impossible to have because the person treated everything I said as an accusation, and became adversarial...which in turn triggered my own adversarial/defensive instinct.

Also like how leftist values/theories/critiques are always corrupted and co-opted by the very capitalist/fascist powers it's critiquing. How the fuck did we let these cunts brand their tired, reactionary bullshit as "red pill philosophy"?

[Cassius Clay]

I think I'm trying to deconstruct what I believe is the source of all human evil and self-destruction...and the relationship between self-destruction and evil(causing unnecessary suffering). I'm pulling from my study of psychology, narcissism(anti-social personality disorders), abusive dynamics, oppression, culture, my life experience, rising fascism, and even spirituality. Over a decade ago I experienced a major "awakening" while visiting my estranged father in Africa...when I came back here, it gradually faded away...and since then I've kinda been obsessed with figuring out what it was and why it happened. I've recently began seeing connections between a lot of these things I've studied/experienced...things I hadn't realized were even in the same stratosphere. And it seems like the psychology of mass shooters is at an intersection of all these various interests. I had really never thought about right wingish mass shooters had been. I suspected "whiteness" and "masculinity" had something to do with it, but wasn't really committed to that idea. Plus I've always been a bit haunted by the mass shooting phenomenon. Or I've just lost my mind. Also, in the next few days, I'm flying over the Atlantic to go visit my father who I haven't seen in a decade...and I'm freaking out a little bit. I hate flying...if you never hear from me again, I died in a plane crash (or did a mass shooting ).

Lol and I've been wondering if these posts are coming across as someone who's thought a little too much about mass shooters...or thinks like one or something. I have always been drawn to the idea of defeating evil by understanding it/getting inside it. I realize that's why I like the idea of Blade...a daywalking vampire intent on killing vampires 'cause he knows exactly what they are and how they think...he's driven by his own self-hatred. Similar thing with Batman, and I even realize the Mike Sullivan character from Road to Perdition has the same thing going on. Watch the clip where Jude Law's character finds him in a remote diner, and Sullivan almost immediately recognizes evil. It's a toxic thing though. In reality you don't fight fire with fire...and you have to be careful to not become a monster to fight monsters.

And as someone who grew up playing sports and surrounded by toxic masculinity, I hate men partly because I know them so well. Men are worse than even a lot a feminists realize...and men know it but pretend not to(they complain about men being unfairly demonized by women, but once they have daughters they suddenly start treating boys like the demons they damn well know they are). And I know I could have easily gone in that direction if I didn't have certain positive influences (particularly female role-models) in my life.

[Cassius Clay]

In case it's not obvious, I believe people generally possess the building blocks of evil. And I'm thinking, probably naively, that if we can understand what those traits are and why they metastasize so much in some people, maybe we can reverse/prevent...and uncover unseen cultural factors that exacerbate it.

It's also possible that I'm being too charitable, and that evil people are way more mind-bogglingly evil than I realize. It's like I'm trying to wrap my head around evil to prevent it. Maybe it's not possible.

[Cassius Clay]

Holy shit. I just realized I've always been like that. It's why I use troll tactics to fuck with trolls. When I was a little kid I used to specifically bully/intimidate kids who bullied and messed with kids I was friendly with. I was one of the bigger kids at my elementary school so I could get away with it. But there was a time I was almost pulled into a fight because I was standing up for a friend. We did the whole "let's meet at recess by the tree behind blah blah so I can kick your ass" thing. I went there ready to fight, but mostly thinking the other kid would back down. But his extreme intensity and apparent lack of fear when he showed up intimidated me (his was acting like he was willing to even die...his whole demeanor was of someone with nothing to lose). I started having second thoughts like..do I really wanna fight this crazy fuck?...how the hell did I get into this?...it wasn't even my fight. But my pride wouldn't let me back down...especially with a bunch of other kids watching. The friend I stood up for was pleading with me not to fight him...which was unsettling because it made me start wondering if there was something about this kid I should be scared of...but then I was also glad because it gave me a possible out of the situation. We had a really long stand-off, talking mad shit to each other. Then the bell rang, and I was relieved.

[Cassius Clay]

I also find the relationship between self-destruction and predatory evil fascinating. Obviously self-destruction does not equal evil (addicts, etc)...but there is a connection there...predators tend not to think about long-term consequences. Look at how predatory capitalists have accelerated human extinction and they don't give a flying fuck...until the consequences are literally about to consume them. Then they'll say "whoops".

And people think predators/abusers don't have a "conscience"...therefore cannot experience guilt. But I suspect they actually have intense guilt which they've learned to bury/cope with...at the expense of their victims of course.

[Cassius Clay]

This is also the theme of Sicario

Sharp Objects is a good show that explores the relationship between self-destruction and evil.

[Cassius Clay]

Rewatched Inception for the first time in years the other day, and was surprised to find that the ending was a lot darker than I remember. The themes of guilt-avoidance and self-destruction were more apparent. It's a goddamn horror movie!

[Gendo]

I just bought Sicario recently, so I should be seeing it sometime soon.