The Pitters' Place

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/04/14/he ... rrer=&_r=0

Dementia is such a horrible condition. It robs individuals, and those they love, of themselves a bit at a time.

That's heartbreaking. I mean, there probably wasn't any ill-intent on the man's part (it's his wife for Pete's sake), but she obviously had severe signs of dementia. Only he and she know what happened in the bedroom that day, but I find it unlikely that he found her to be coherent and aware enough to know what she was consenting to. But, then, maybe she was fine that day. It's fucked up, though. I don't think he should be facing charges of assault.

My grandmother had dementia for about five years before passing in 2013. She took sole care of her husband, my grandfather, before he passed in 2008. She had all her marbles (and then some) before he died. When that happened, it was pretty striking how immediate her mind started to go. Something about the routine of fifty-odd years being broken broke her. Love is a strange thing.

If the staff said she wasn't able to consent then he should have never engaged her.

I agree with Dragon. He should not have engaged her.

It's such a tragedy. Even if it is well established that a dementia patient enjoyed an active sex life with their spouse, this chance at pleasure must be forbidden from happening.

While it's a hard situation to deal with, if the medical professionals were saying she was too far gone mentally to consent that has to be respected.

I can understand him seeing this woman he loves and believing that she wants to be intimate even though other people have said she can't consent anymore, and it being a tough situation, but once the decision was made it had to be respected.

Oh, I guess I missed the part that said they had said that prior to the sex. Yeah, I agree.

This leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. If you have any reason to believe that someone does not give or is not able to give informed and enthusiastic consent, then you shouldn't be having sex with them.

aels wrote:If you have any reason to believe that someone does not give or is not able to give informed and enthusiastic consent, then you shouldn't be having sex with them.

This.

Plus, old people sex = eww.

Maybe he had a keen eye?

aels wrote:This leaves a very bad taste in my mouth.

So would sex with someone that old.

Gendo wrote:Maybe he had a keen eye?

That was legit the joke I was going to make before I wondered whether it would be in bad taste. What I am saying is that I am a better person than you