The Pitters' Place

So I just got diagnosed with autism today. Yay! I think. Some doctor psychiatrist guy came and talked to me for a few hours and he concluded that, yep, I'm definitely on the spectrum somewhere. As if I didn't know already. But it didn't seem to be bad enough that I would qualify for disability benefits, so what was even the fucking point. At least he didn't mention anything about it, so I don't know. I don't really know how "official" it is... what does it actually take to be officially diagnosed with a medical disorder? Because that's what he did, but we didn't agree to do any follow-up reports or anything. Doesn't it take a bunch of tests or something? So is it going to be on my medical sheets or whatever now? How does that work? Someone help me. I can't bring myself to care enough to look it up myself, and I never even thought to ask him.

So what this means now is that you people can't get mad at me for being a socially awkward oblivious jerk anymore, because I'm autistic and I can't help it. That's how it works, right? Yes. Also you should feel sorry for me, because I have a debilitating mental disorder which prevents me from succeeding in life (or at least that's what I'm going to tell people from now on). Feel sorry for me! DO IT! NOW!

It's probably because you got a flu vaccine. If it isn't, then it's not real autism.

Probably. It's a blessing no matter what. It gives me a plausible excuse for avoiding all social situations forever.

It should be on your medical sheet, mostly to control if you are taking any medications or not. Since you people consume meds as if they were candy.

I am currently taking medications which are literally indistinguishable from gummy bears, so you are in fact completely correct.

Called it.

I don't really know how "official" it is... what does it actually take to be officially diagnosed with a medical disorder? Because that's what he did, but we didn't agree to do any follow-up reports or anything. Doesn't it take a bunch of tests or something? So is it going to be on my medical sheets or whatever now?

It's official if/when they put it on your medical sheets. I had something similar to you, where my psych chatted to me and went through the DSM and said "yeah, you're probably on the spectrum" but didn't do anything after that. Although mine was a 'probably' and yours was a 'definitely', so that might be different.

So is it still legitimate if it's not official? Can I say I've been diagnosed with autism and not be lying, even if it's not anywhere in my medical records?

Legitimate yes, official no.

Can I say I've been diagnosed with autism and not be lying

yes. But you can't say you were officially diagnosed.

Pff, that psychiatrist wasn't even a neurosurgeon.

This doesn't really make you easier to like, it just explains why you're difficult to like.

Huh, I didn't know I was difficult to like. I always though it was more the opposite, judging on what I've been told. Please, tell me more things about myself I don't know!

The first time I heard someone say "autistic", I thought they were just pronuncing "artistic" weird.

If they were from Boston, they probably were just mispronouncing "artistic".

Huh, I didn't know I was difficult to like. I always though it was more the opposite, judging on what I've been told. Please, tell me more things about myself I don't know!

I like you because you make sense, even when we disagree on stuff.

Congratulations?

I'm not surprised either, by the way.

I'm sure there's a few of us on the spectrum on this board.

Some more obvious than others.