aels wrote:I was single for six years, it was lovely.
I'm going on just over two years now and I'm enjoying it - I can never be sure whether I'm acting out of dysfunction (based on being burnt to the point where my comfort zone is the path of least resistance) or whether I just really am better suited to being single because that suits me.
I've been single plenty of times in the past, never for enormously protracted periods of time - but always happily so.. and I think I kept getting into relationships at some level because as an adult, you are supposed to be in a relationship. I've been in love a couple of times but even with that context , as with anything, there were aspects of being in a relationship that I didn't like and loads about being single that I missed.
Now that I have procreated and have my life settled - I feel almost like I've ticked off enuff boxes to not worry about external pressure to hook up and be in a relationship so I can be considered a real life adult .. even tho there is still the usual pressure on now that I've been single for long enuff for people to feel they can now start asking me when I'm going to get out there and date again.
I'm pretty sure damage is dictating some of my preferences at the moment tho - there was one particular lass who was loverly, gorgeous and mad keen on me - the only problem is that she was currently married (started going thru a separation) and to top that off she is married to a mate of mine (not by any means a close mate - but he is the reason I know her) .. So we organised to go out (she's spent enormous swags of time PM'ing me on FB prior to announcing she was about to split from her hubby) then PM'd me to say that she's splitting and I was the only person she has told so far (which was weird given it was almost exclusively a FB relationship at that point) - I said something to the effect of "Oh that sucks - anything I can do?" to which she replied that she needed a night out of the house and do I want to get dinner.. I kinda felt forced into saying "Sure" then peppering my responses with "Always there as an ear or a shoulder if you need it" .. so we went out and the entire night was all about what a perfect partner I'd make and I don't want to talk about the marriage break down.
So - I used the context to knock it all back but the entire time I kept thinking that even if everything was different and she's been single for a while - I've still got no desire to get back into anything cos I'm still enjoying being single.
Executive summary - I'm probably gonna die single and be eaten by my dogs .. and I'm kinda cool with that.