Is this victim blaming?

[Anakin McFly]

Scenario: bunch of people say let's go do this thing X. A woman says no thanks, she doesn't want to risk getting raped. They then accuse her of giving in to the victim blaming concept that anyone could do something to 'cause' sexual assault.

Is this victim blaming? Who's wrong in this case? And since when did we devolve to the point where people are shamed for taking protective measures for their own safety and piece of mind?

[Islandmur]

Well what's the X thing? because if it's let's go to the movies, she's being paranoid, but if it's let's go to this wild party where there is sure to be over drinking and drugs, then she's just being cautious.

Although it's not her actions that she's afraid of, but others actions when they are high or drunk or both.

[Cassius Clay]

Self-protection cannot be "victim blaming". There are actually people who prey on women at parties/clubs.

Self-protection is separate from the concept of moral responsibility. An abused person might be able to avoid abuse by leaving their partner, but even if they don't leave, they are not responsible for their abuse.

It's just that the way society tends to talk about rape often subtly shifts moral responsibility off the actual perpetrator. The rapist seems to become invisible ...as if the victim raped themselves by daring to be out partying.

An example of this I've heard recently: Black parents are not victim blaming their children when they have to warn them about police officers...and how to behave around them. That's different from when a black kid is unjustly killed, then some asshole outsider who isn't really invested in the protection of black kids says "well, he shouldn't have blah blah blah...that's just the way it is."

[Cassius Clay]

The other thing I meant to articulate is the general difference between talking in a preventative/protective manner versus talking about it after the fact.(which is kind of implied in my examples). A parent warning his or her daughter about watching their drinks when they are at parties is a very different thing from a parent asking their child what they did wrong after they have been raped.

This does not mean a preventative kind of approach is always okay because a society that focuses on what women must do to prevent rape is feeding a culture of victim-blaming.

[Anakin McFly]

Well what's the X thing?

Participation in a nudist event. I realise that such things have rules and a particular culture and people apparently generally don't get raped at them, but I'd definitely be uncomfortable and afraid of harassment if anyone suggested I try it out, and can imagine lots of other people - especially if they have a history of sexual abuse - being unwilling for the same reason.

Self-protection is separate from the concept of moral responsibility. ... A parent warning his or her daughter about watching their drinks when they are at parties is a very different thing from a parent asking their child what they did wrong after they have been raped.

That's a great way to break it down, thanks. I've rarely seen cases of the former that didn't come with implications that if they didn't watch their drinks, it was their own fault if something happened to them, but that's more a problem with the execution than the concept.