How do I stop arguing on the internet :(

[Anakin McFly]

It's a problem, it's affecting my work and life (and my family) and I want to stop, but when I see people being wrong on the internet I find it extremely hard to let it go. If I don't address it, I might have trouble sleeping because I can't stop thinking about that person being wrong on the internet. I'm better at not giving in to that compulsion now than I used to be, but it's still an uphill struggle. But when I give in, I just end up angry or extremely stressed or suffering through a guilt complex or doubting everything I know or hating humanity, or all of that. The past few times I had to call up my counsellor were the direct results of internet arguments leading to a nervous breakdown. Sometimes I'm not even sure that I'm on the right side, or definitely am not, which makes it worse because I'm doing more harm than good. But I still can't let go of that one small thing that that person stubbornly gets wrong even if I agree with their overall opinion.

I googled variants of 'how to stop arguing on the internet'. Most of the first results were tips on how to win arguments on the internet, which were completely not what I was looking for. The only two results I found that shared my question were by people who mentioned they had Asperger's. :/

So maybe that's partly it, plus OCD (I had it really severe a couple years ago, but it died down with aggressive therapy), plus general addiction, and argh I need help.

(yesterday evening I saw the sunset out my bedroom window and everything seemed so calm and peaceful. and I wondered why life couldn't be like this all the time. And why can't it be? There are sunsets every day.)

[BruceSmith78]

Get drunk and watch baseball.

[Anakin McFly]

I'm not American.

[Cassius Clay]

Focus your energy on other things you enjoy.

[phe_de]

You mean, you are this person?


You are not alone.

[Anakin McFly]

^ that's one of my favourite comic strips.

Focus your energy on other things you enjoy.

Thanks. Now and then I do that, and it helps for a while. But eventually I get guilty about doing fun stuff - even just spending a couple hours strolling around the park and looking at trees - while there's still so much suffering and injustice in the world, even though there's realistically not much I can do about it. Sometimes people actively cause that guilt, like how a bunch of Facebook friends were posting pictures of bunny rabbits or something for Easter and one British guy made angry comments about how people could do frivolous things like that while gay people were getting attacked (the Religious Freedom Act had just been passed in Indiana). I defended them saying that people need a break from the world's problems sometimes. He replied with: "you may take breaks in your country, but here we never stop fighting". (Which was pretty hypocritical of him, because I stalked his profile and he apparently likes getting drunk and supporting Manchester United. I'm pretty sure that's taking a break.)

There's generally a lot of similar rhetoric in activist circles in particular, with the implication that if you're not actively thinking about and discussing current human rights crises you're just part of the problem.

And I can sympathise with that view. It's what makes me prone to that guilt if I'm doing anything happy - my happiness feels disrespectful when others elsewhere are suffering, even when it's in the context of seeking escapism from stuff that also affects me. But horrible things are always happening all the time everywhere in the world, and if it's disrespectful to enjoy oneself while others are suffering, then... when can we be happy? But at the same time, it's not like me being unhappy will help anybody at all, and probably just end up hurting them too when I'm depressed all over the place. idk.

[CashRules]

I'm not American.

Sucks, doesn't it?

[Anakin McFly]

Yes. Get me a Green Card.