Daughter of lesbian mothers comes out against gay marriage

[Anakin McFly]

http://thefederalist.com/2015/03/17/dea ... re-hurting

Thoughts? Some of this is evidently due to the hurt she felt from the abandonment and neglect of her birth father, that she's then projecting as a result of being raised by a same-sex couple, but idk.

(and, er, don't read the comments. Or the recommended articles. Which I did, and now I'm sad.)

[Unvoiced_Apollo]

She should try growing up in a single parent household.

[phe_de]

http://thefederalist.com/2015/03/17/dea ... re-hurting

Thoughts? Some of this is evidently due to the hurt she felt from the abandonment and neglect of her birth father, that she's then projecting as a result of being raised by a same-sex couple, but idk.

She seems to suffer from not having had a father; but this is not an argument against gay marriage.

From her article:

Kids of divorced parents are allowed to say, “Hey, mom and dad, I love you, but the divorce crushed me and has been so hard. It shattered my trust and made me feel like it was my fault. It is so hard living in two different houses." Kids of adoption are allowed to say, “Hey, adoptive parents, I love you. But this is really hard for me. I suffer because my relationship with my first parents was broken. I'm confused and I miss them even though I've never met them."

But children of same-sex parents haven't been given the same voice.

By that logic, if we deny gay people the right to marriage because of the children, we should also disallow adoption, or forbid couples with kids to divorce. But that's not going to happen. And that's a good thing.

I also don't like that she pretends to speak for "many of us". She speaks for herself and herself only.
About the comments: I tried reading them, but white fonts on black backgrounds hurt my eyes.

[Islandmur]

That story is full of holes, why would a gay community be devoid of men?

And the reference to her second mom constantly as her mom's partner is weird, there is no sense that she cares for the other woman "who raised me like her own daughter".

She has a father, she could have had her voice and told him how much his abandonment hurt her.

She mentions kids of divorce as if she was in another situation, she's not she's a child of divorced parents. The fact that her mother remarried a woman afterwards has nothing to do with her not having contact with her father.

Children should be raised by people who love them period that's the best option for them.

[Anakin McFly]

That story is full of holes, why would a gay community be devoid of men?]/quote]

LESBIAN SEPARATISM

She mentions kids of divorce as if she was in another situation, she's not she's a child of divorced parents. The fact that her mother remarried a woman afterwards has nothing to do with her not having contact with her father.

That's a really good point.

[Derived Absurdity]

http://www.xojane.com/issues/not-all-sa ... -are-alike" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[thesalmonofdoubt]

The nub of her argument seems to be this.

Same-sex marriage and parenting withholds either a mother or father from a child while telling him or her that it doesn't matter. That it's all the same. But it's not. A lot of us, a lot of your kids, are hurting. My father's absence created a huge hole in me, and I ached every day for a dad. I loved my mom's partner, but another mom could never have replaced the father I lost.

I grew up surrounded by women who said they didn't need or want a man. Yet, as a little girl, I so desperately wanted a daddy. It is a strange and confusing thing to walk around with this deep-down unquenchable ache for a father, for a man, in a community that says that men are unnecessary. There were times I felt so angry with my dad for not being there for me, and then times I felt angry with myself for even wanting a father to begin with. There are parts of me that still grieve over that loss today.

She is effectively saying that the want for opposite sex parents is innate, that people intrinsically want a male and female co-partnership to sate an innate need and that given same sex unions cannot produce this, they aren't ideal and so if they aren't ideal they shouldn't be allowed.

This sort of mentality is pretty well rebutted in that link that DA posted. Admittedly, I was raised my a pretty solid Mother and father and so, never lacked for what she has wanted so I have no idea what having two dads or two moms feels like in place of a mom and dad.. But, I also suspect that wanting a dad when you have two moms is probably more socially normative than it is innate. That even growing up in the beating heart of the gay community you are still conditioned in a pervasive way to see opposite sex couples as being an ideal.. So, I'm loathe to dismiss her feelings but also loathe to extend these as representative of "Gay couples" as opposed to how one person has been influenced by a variety of factors in her life (father abandoning her, feeling different etc) and extending these as representative of all gay couples and all gay children.

Same goes with her comments around not being able to voice her concerns. I have no idea whether her two moms would have shut down a conversation around how she feels about not having a dad, but, from the sounds of things they seem to be reasonable people. What is true, is that the dynamic for other children of gay marriages would have different experiences based on the fact that their parents are different individuals.
There is no reason to suspect what is true for her is true in representative way..